Dear Santa...

Dear Santa: I cleaned out the playroom the other day and got rid of every toy that has 5 or more pieces. Things with 5 or more pieces are not welcome in my house since these pieces end up in my drawers, vents, under the couch, or lost in the Bermuda Triangle that is my playroom. If any of these multi-pieced items find their way under the tree this year, I'll be putting you on the naughty list. Not sure what that means exactly, since you're sort of the boss at Christmas time, but, just consider yourself warned.


In addition, I'd like to draw your attention to three toys that I also disapprove of.


1) The Micky Mouse Playhouse floor puzzle.  This puzzle doesn't come on a puzzle board or in a box.  It comes on a piece of cardboard.  So, when my kids ripped off the plastic wrapping and the puzzle pieces fell off of the cardboard, this is what we were left with.  A big pile of puzzle pieces.  We can't remember what it is supposed to look like, since there is no picture on a box lid to refer to, so putting this puzzle together is a bit more challenging than it needs to be.  And, how am I supposed to store this giant pile of puzzle pieces?  No.  Puzzles should always come on a puzzle board or in a box.  Stamped it.  No erasies. 

2) Barbie.  I don't have a problem with Barbie herself, she's a great girl.  She's been around forever, had a bunch of cool job, her own TV show on Netflix; it's her shoe collection I have a problem with.  I mean, why does a plastic doll need so many shoes?  It's not like she ever goes outside.  And, she doesn't need to wear high heels for the height, her feet are permanently in the high heel position.  My problem with her shoes is that when they come off they go missing, and then I find Barbie shoes in the most random places all over my house.  And I don't find a pair of Barbie shoes, I find one shoe, or two shoes that don't match.  I think Barbie shoes should be painted on, or glued on, or somehow permanently affixed to her feet so they'll stay on for all of eternity.  I just have no time for Barbie shoes. 

3) Porcelain tea set.  Don't get me wrong, it's adorable.  It's a brightly coloured, polka-dotted, mini porcelain tea set, with a tea pot, mugs, and saucers.  What's not to love?  My daughters had the most epic tea parties ever.  Until this happened.  Obviously.  Because it's a porcelain tea set.  For kids.  I mean Santa, what were you thinking?